No need to suffer blog – by Tara Argall, MEd, “The Suffering Slayer” and Founder and Creator of Trailblazing Communications


To determine how well you are doing in your life, take a look at your life around you. Do you like what you see, feel and experience?  Our environments are our mirror of how we are doing. What is going on inside of us will be reflected back to us. Look in the mirror, do you like what you see?


Think of the last time that you were at a gathering and you left feeling upset and triggered by someone that was there.  Try to remember whatever it was about them that upset you. Were you saying and thinking something like, “Shelly, she is such an attention seeking selfish person, she drives me crazy?   “I cannot stand to be around her!” or maybe “Did you see how Jeff was eating?”  He was so annoying with his talking with his mouth full, it is so gross.”


Well I have some exciting news for you!  When you are triggered, agitated, worked up or reactionary to or about someone else, it is showing you something about yourself and not about Shelly or Jeff.


For example, if Shelly is seeming attention seeking and selfish, maybe you are too but do not realize it.  Maybe you are in a different way but the mere experience of Shelly triggers your deep awareness of those behaviors of yours that you refuse to own or even look at.  The Universe does not want you to suffer with being agitated and angry with Shelly and wants you to know yourself fully and completely and therefore will help you along your way by putting Shelly on your path to wake you up a bit.  If attention seeking and selfishness is truly and completely not your game, then maybe Shelly is there to show you that you totally are a wall flower and way to self-less, letting people ignore you and walk all over you. The Universe may be showing you it is time to let yourself be seen and ask others to do for you once in a while to help balance out your relationships a bit.


Jeff may be showing you that you are doing something similar like eating the same way or maybe you make smacking noises or shove too much food in at a time.  Or maybe you are so mannered up that you can hardly enjoy your food. In that case, aren’t you glad that the Universe wants to end your suffering and is giving you Jeff to help you with your table manners in some way?

When you react to others for ANY reason, it has nothing to do with them and everything to do with you. Instead of being upset, sit back and take inventory and then determine what you need to do so that others do not send you reeling and blaming them for wrecking your day or experience.  I always look at my triggers as growing moments and dig in right away.  They are little wrapped up gifts. If we choose to open them that is.  Yes, you could totally blame Shelly and Jeff for upsetting you and can stay focused on them, but then you lose the lesson and the gift for now.  I say for now as the Universe always works on your behalf and will continue to bring your lessons around until you choose to open the gifts that it brings.  It is impossible for us to totally see ourselves fully and completely when we are always focused on everything outside of us. Our subconscious always is trying to be conscious and this is how it goes about helping us do just that by bringing teachers to us along the way.


The concept is similar with things like always having bad luck or something similar going on in our lives.  We need to ask ourselves why is this always happening?

What is the Universe trying to show me? It could be we are being shown a belief pattern that needs to go.  A thought that is overtaking us or something within us that needs to change. We may be being shown that we are allowing our environment to get murky with people, jobs or relationships that are not good for us.


Sometimes it is hard to know or pinpoint what that something is.  If we cannot decide or figure it out, we could always ask a trusted friend what they may see. Our friends often can see parts of us that we cannot.  Friends usually see our gifts, talents and what we are good at better than us. It may be worth an ask for sure.


When I have these moments I turn to my tools. I use The Trailblazing Communications Whole Life System.  These tools quickly and succinctly not only uncover what I am being shown but also allow me to energetically clear out the patterns, beliefs, thoughts or behaviors that are getting in my way. The quicker and more effectively I deal with these gifts, the quicker I can get on to enjoying Shelly and Jeff and see what else the Universe University wants to teach me.  You can check out these tools I reference at These tools are easy to learn to use and helps us all get on with enjoying the journey and everything in it.